Time away

Spring break. What a wonderful idea. I spent time with my family last weekend at a cabin in the mountains. It was really refreshing to slow down and live at a normal speed. I spent Wednesday and Thursday nights in Chattanooga with one of my friends. We left for no particular reason other than to get away and it was nice. Now that I'm home again I am faced to realize that it's almost time to head back to school but I am so thankful for the time I have had to breathe.

Even though I am not particularly excited about going to class next week, I am going to be thankful that I have the opportunity to go back to school next week. There is somebody somewhere who did not live through spring break. There is somebody somewhere who had to withdraw from school over spring break for some reason or another. So instead of being bummed about sitting in class every day, I am going to be thankful instead that I am alive and healthy and have been given the means to attend school and obtain an education.

Home schooled

I was home schooled as were all of my siblings. I didn't particularly enjoy or dislike being home schooled; it was what it was. However hindsight is 20/20, I guess because now I am ridiculously thankful I was. Something terrible happened today that it almost made me want to home school MY kids if I ever have any. I have always said I never would but the more people I run into, the better it sounds. For you to fully understand what pushed me into this reality, I need to tell a story.

I'm taking speech/debate this semester. I kind of hate it because I hate talking to people I don't know and I hate talking to groups of people and I really hate talking to groups of people I don't know. That fact that I dislike it is not important to the story though. Today was my day to debate in our parliamentary debates. Basically, it's an off the cuff thing, we get paired with somebody else and then argue against another group. The topic was "Pennies are useless forms of currency." When my partner and I were coming up with reasons why the penny is useless, she asked me who was on the penny. I told her I was pretty sure it was Abraham Lincoln. Her response? Brace yourself...

"What, was he like the first president or something?"

I do not kid. It was all I could do not to drop my jaw. I replied that no, he was the 16th president.

She then said, "Oh, I don't really do the history thing." Ya think!?

Humble pie

I feel like God has been teaching me a lot lately because I have finally woken up and realized how ridiculous I was being which I am so thankful for. Today I have been chewing on a giant piece of humble pie. I'm giving up desserts for lent but somehow I think the pie of humility will be sticking around for a while while my heart processes it.

Most people like to talk. I don't particularly mind talking in some cases but I find that listening is easier for me. I enjoy listening. In fact, I enjoy listening and giving advice (even if it isn't always good advice...) so much that I picked my major based on that aspect of myself. I take pride in my listening ability and this week God decided to take that away from me for a few days or weeks as the case may be. Though the story of how He took it away is not mine to tell, I can tell you this; when I get my listening back, I am going to be thankful for it instead of being proud of it.

Rock bottom?

Have you ever had a day or a month or a year when you think things can't possibly get worse, and then they do? Have you ever hit rock bottom? I thought I had had "rock bottom" experiences until last Sunday and while I am sure that at some point in my life I will have a worse rock bottom than the one I had 7 days ago, it seemed pretty bad at the time. I have come to realize that God often uses rock bottoms to bring us back to Him. Even though every aspect of last Sunday afternoon was miserable in every sense of the word, I am thankful for that rock bottom because it just brought me back. After everything I've learned in my life I still, for some reason, think that I have to go to God at my best but it's when we're at our worst that we need Him most. Of course we need Him all the time, but I have a hard time grasping that sometimes. I guess what I'm trying to say is that since God sent the rain, I am thankful that He sent an umbrella and a pair of rain boots too.

I'm not in control

I have come to realize that aspects of life rarely work out the way we want them to or plan for them to. In my own life, I try to plan things out. I cannot stand not knowing what's happening next. I hate feeling like I'm not in control. I've been thinking a lot about my future recently. My plan is to graduate a semester early, and either take a semester off before starting grad school or do an internship, yet somehow while I've been planning, it doesn't feel right. I don't know how to explain it other than this overwhelming sense that things won't work out the way I think they will right now.
Last week, I even had thoughts of changing my major, though they only lasted about 10 seconds before I remembered how much I love psychology and how miserable I'd be with just about any other major. I know that I can do a million things with psychology, which isn't the reason I chose this major, but there are only two things I really want to do and it scares me that for some reason neither of them will work out. I think I have this fear mostly because I don't like people which is a ridiculous thing for a psychology major to say, I know, but I cannot get past it!
Last week, I got an application packet from the hospital near school to work in the pediatric unit with the child life specialist which is so exciting because that is one of the things I would absolutely love to do. There are all these requirements in order to volunteer and all these rules (some of which seem like a little much) to follow at the hospital and I guess I'm afraid I will dislike it. It wouldn't be the end of the world if I disliked it. In fact, I would rather find out now than when I am in the midst of an internship or something.
The other thing I really want to do is research, and while I know that is going to require a lot of school, I think it would be worth it. The mind is amazing and it would be incredible if my job involved figuring out why we do what we do. At the same time though, I think about how much time and effort goes into just one experiment and I can't help but wonder if that's the way I want to spend my life. I can't help but wonder if there will be any significance to my research, though. I don't want to do something that won't have any impact on anybody. I don't want to spend my days duplicating research that has already been done, and even though I already mentioned that I don't particularly like people, or rather being around people, research seems like such a waste if it can't help people.
I guess what I'm mostly trying to say is that I'm thankful God is the one the one that's in control because otherwise I would have gone crazy a long long time ago.

Tooth brushes

Have you ever gotten fuzzy teeth? You know like when you haven't brushed in a few hours and your teeth just feel kind of disgusting? So disgusting that when you finally have the chance to brush your teeth, they feel like they have never been cleaner? I love that feeling and the tingly mint taste that's left in my mouth. While I was brushing, flossing, and mouth washing my teeth just now, I realized how awesome the invention of the tooth brush is and I am thankful that I have readily available toothbrushes and toothpaste. I think sometimes, okay a lot of the time, I forget to be thankful for the small things like a tooth brush, and every time I think about it, I realize how much I really have to be thankful for.

Warmer weather

After spending most days for the last two weeks being cold most of the time, the temperature hit 40 today. It was quite fantastic not to need to wear my giant winter coat, a scarf, gloves, thermal underwear and 2 pairs of socks to class. I am thankful that I live in an area of the country where we get cold weather and warm weather, along with incredible 60 degree weather in between the two.